Tuesday, May 17, 2005


There are some important decisions to make when you are starting a band. What kind of sound will we have? Over produced or lo-fi? How much Clash influence can we have without being compared to The Clash? Can't you get the fucking bass line right, you asshole? But most importantly, what will our name be? Call me superficial, but I believe that the band name is pretty damn important. Especially for people like me who consistantly judge books by their covers. What if The Misfits called themselves The Rainbow People? What if Bob Dylan was Bobby Dillion. Huge diff. Two cases in point:

Snow Patrol. Okay, guys. What the hell. You're not bad. But "Snow Patrol?" If I didn't immediately think "emo" and then "extreme sports" I might have listened to you earlier. "Run" is a pretty good song, but I can't leave you on my iPod because your name fucks up the flow. It's like how I can't have peas next to anything on the plate -- especially sauces. It all gets intermingled and nasty looking. Sorry guys. You can stay on the computer though, because I've got a little compassion in me. Try some solo projects next.

Sufjan Stevens. It's all your fault that I didn't listen to you earlier. You may be one of the greatest artists of the past decade, but every time I saw your name on a review or an interview I skipped it immediately. And there were a lot. You're a popular guy. And you should be! "Illinoise" is a phenomenal album. There may be a few too many variations on songs we know by heart (The Cure? The Charlie Brown theme song? Don't play dumb), but otherwise this is a timeless album. I mean, for all the attention Belle & Sebastian get, you take their style to a place that a B&S fan could only dream of. If they don't break up because of this album, they should. And this isn't just a good instrumental album. Start to finish, this thing is an emotional sledgehammer. If you are as shallow as I am, please, give this album a chance. I'll even give you a couple of songs to get started.

Sufjan Stevens - Illinoise:
Come on, Feel the Illinoise
The Predetory Wasp

So the lesson to all you egomaniacal lead singers out there is to take your time naming your band -- don't just slap on the first thing you think of one night when you're stoned.


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