Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Some things in life just don't make no sense

Why is it that some people get ahead in life and some sputter and wind up living with their parents and working at a gas station? Is there a trait that predicts our success in life? Lets look at some facts:

a) I am really fucking lazy. I mean, I have met some lazy people in my time, but damn. I win huge at being lazy. Yesterday it was raining on the way home. I was supposed to do laundry last night, but I can't do it in the rain because the clothes would get soaked walking home. Common sense. Once I get home, however, it is no longer raining. She says to me: "So, are we doing laundry?" and I laugh at her because in the two minutes since I walked in the door I have already managed to get out of my wet clothes and into a new t-shirt and open a beer and find a comfortable spot on the bed to start an article in Details. That is how lazy I am.

b) I didn't do so well in college. I mean, I did well. But not as well as I could have. I have friends working for Deloitte and SAS and IBM. I'm cool with where I wound up, but I could have done a little better, I imagine. I drank a lot in college, I went to a lot of shows on Monday nights, I joined a fraternity, blah blah blah. I had a great time, but "college" wasn't so much about the "school" as it was the "experience," dig?

c) I know some stuff about some things, but one thing I don't a goddamned thing about is physical therapy. In fact, I have to type "physical therapy" in Microsoft Word because I didn't know how to spell "therapy" until she started school two weeks ago. I don't know what physical therapists do or how they do it. I do know that I got a dirty look last night because we were looking at this physical therapy magazine and I laughed at the old man trying to walk on the treadmill that has straps to hold you up. Trust me on this one, it is fucking hilarious. But don't tell that to a physical therapist.

With these facts firmly embedded into your brain like a penny dropped from the Eiffel Tower, I ask you one simply question: With prior knowledge of all of these facts -- my laziness, my lack of general knowledge and my complete lack of knowledge regarding the field of physical therapy -- why am I doing her homework for her?

4 Comments:

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Ha!
Beautiful.

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