Monday, August 22, 2005

Summer stories

You think you're done with wildlife when you move out of the wilderness of the Southeasten United States, only to be attacked by giant mutant bugs who apparently have a strange attraction to two naked people trying to go to sleep. Last night while I was settling down with my two-weeks-late copy of Details, something hit the bedroom window with such force I thought it must have been a bird. Seconds later, something the size of a small child's fist careened through the window and into the back of the computer monitor. Aside from the low-frequency buzzing, he wasn't going anywhere, so I ignored him until I was finished with my pint. When I got up to shoo the thing back outside, I encountered something not unlike a cicada, except massive and possibly asleep. I covered him with my pint glass and discovered that he was anything but asleep. He pounded the walls of the glass as I slid a take-out menu under him. We checked him out for a minute, decided that it was in fact a cicada (they have bulgy eyes. He was actually quite interesting looking), and went to chuck him out of the window. As soon as I had unleashed him, however, he decided that he liked our home better than the hole in the tree he had previously lived in. I captured him again, slightly annoyed, and threw him out again. My efforts to slam the screen shut before he could reenter went unsuccessful and he hid in The Wife's backpack until I caught him again. This happened another two or three times, at which point he found a nook behind the wardrobe and decided to camp out and call it a night. He must have been more than a little woozy, running into so many walls. The cicada won our game of "How far can I stick the tennis racket behind the wardrobe" and I accepted defeat and went to sleep. Today's helpful household tip: Don't leave the damn screen open.


Blogger jon said...

After we paid for our kids maine summer camp for teen we found it tough to recover! I totally agree with you!

8:46 PM  

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