Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Thoughts on last night:

  • Enjoyed the fact that it sounded like a frat party in there as soon as Alito walked in. Probably because every Republican in there was in a fraternity in college. Although I was curious as to why Bush pretty much ignored him in not only the initial walk-through-shake-hands, but also the one at the end. Is there a political strategy for distancing yourself from the judge that you just installed?

  • I thought it was really tacky that they sat Laura Bush between an arab woman and a black guy. I mean, can you imagine the conversation that took place while they were discussing the box arrangements?

    Advisor 1: Let's put a Filipino midget on her right, and a Tasmanian with Down's on her left.

    Advisor 2: No way, the Tasmanian's will be offended by Bush's advocation of Bugs Bunny cartoons.

    Advisor 3: Sir! Bad news. The flight that the Filipino midget was on was delayed. She won't be here on time.

    Advisor 1: Well damn! We'll just have go with an arab woman with a unibrow and a fat black guy.

  • Bush started out a little too flag-wavy. I wish he would cut the shit, especially when his ratings have no where to go but up, he's got two years until an election, and the Democrats don't have a leg to stand on in November when the house seats are up anyway.

  • Who is stealing embryos to make human-animal hybrids? Since when are Roche or Glaxo the fucking Island of Doctor Moreau? At least I've got a liger in my basement to protect me from the Peopleogs (people+dogs).

  • Speaking of Welles (I know they are spelled different), did you see that fat Rep. who had his belt on all sideways like the supergay "pop-and-lock" dance teacher from MTV circa 2002? High-larious.

  • The part where he mentioned the Social Security measures that didn't get through last year, and all the Democrats applauded? That was even tackier than Laura Bush's seating arrangement. I mean, what the fuck. I've read some people who said that it threw him off, but I think he did it on purpose. Because the next line he sat them all right back down. Something about putting aside political differences for the greater good. If the Democrats didn't embarass themselves enough, he did it for them. Oh, and the Republican's booing was pretty stupid, too. They'd have looked better if they let it slide. Unless they we actually saying "Boo-urns."

  • All that crap about morality and how few abortions we have should have been left out. I know it's a Repbulican talking point, but it's still a stupid, stupid part of the platform and they should shut the hell up about morality. Whatever happened to Republican's wanting smaller government and more personal freedoms? If I can make my mind up about buying a gun, I can make my mind up about my family planning, too. I mean, bloody hell. At least make it a state's rights issue instead of legislating my (well, not so much my) personal life from the federal level. Jesus. Some (starts with a "P" and ends with a "at Robertson and the Christian Coalition") people will never learn.

  • Tim Kaine seriously needs to get that eyebrow looked at by a specialist. Also, Mr. Kaine, who's your fucking speechwriter? Ron Popeil? I expected you to have the audience say "There is a better way!" after the first couple of times. Seriously, I don't remember the point of your speech. Something about a better way?

  • Finally, who was that girl in the thick glasses who was hanging out behind Louise Slaughter on CSPAN? You know you saw her! She was smoking! I couldn't listen to a word Slaughter said, I just kept yelling at the TV for her to move her big fat head. Then she came back for a second behind Arlen Specter, but we never saw her again. If you read this, call me.


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