Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Last night I had a dream that I was married to Taylor Momsen and it was just precious. New ep Tivo'ed for tonight, suckas!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

After being a sad-sack all Sunday last week, I carpe diemed the shit out of this weekend. Here is what I did even though nobody cares:

On Saturday I woke up crazy early (10:00am) and my roommate and I walked over to Soundfix to meet Regina Spektor. I really had no idea who she was outside of that one song that was in an Apple commercial or something. It was not exciting at all for me, really, but Joseph was stoked and he yelled at her and videotaped her cute little face and her cute little itty-bitty hand waving at him. Seriously I think that she is four feet tall soaking wet, but I feel super awkward standing around staring at some girl I don't know just because she is famous and really effing cute, so I didn't, you know, go up to her with a yardstick and measure her or anything.

After that we ate breakfast and drank wine at Relish which was maybe a little expensive for breakfast, but it was still really good.

Then I broke down and dragged Joseph into Built by Wendy with me (I know! It's like role reversal, or something) and I accidentally bought some pants and a shirt that was actually made in Macau and not by some hipster named Wendy in Williamsburg.

After killing the rest of the afternoon drinking beer outside and finishing Cavalier and Klay, Betty came over and we walked around the neighborhood and grabbed a beer and she went though people's trash (shocka!).

After a tense text-message frenzy, Arthur scored tickets to the Wakey!Wakey! show of the decade in a garage-turned-recording studio in Scarytown U.S.A. a.k.a. Bed Stuy, right by the BQE and the Chicken Express (effing incredible, and $4 for a chicken sandwich, fries and a Coke!). It was awesome and the cops showed up, so you know it was awesome. Four people played and one guy covered an Ani song which made me happy. Also this black couple told me I looked like Spiderman and I was so close to trying to joke around and say something about how the guy looked like Will Smith (he did not look like Will Smith), but I bit my tounge hard because I think that maybe joking around like "ha ha, all black people look the same" might still be taboo. Who knows.

Theme: What a great fucking day. What a great season. I don't know how warm it is outside right now, but I know that two weeks ago I put my winter coat in the way-back of my closet so that I don't have to look at it anymore. I know that the weather is making me think about the next few months in concrete terms, making concrete plans, which is something that I have a hard time doing during the winter. And I know that it's making me regret some decisions that I've made in the past few months that I've tried to play down, and that I will do my best to keep in mind going forward, even if it's too late to do anything about, now.

Happy Spring, bitches!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

When your laptop dies because all you've done all morning is sit in bed watching 30 Rock and yesterday's SNL, you should take it as a sign and get up and take a shower and call your friends back and carpe diem.

But instead you'll probably stay in bed laughing at "Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, ACK!"

Monday, April 07, 2008

Best or worst commercial ever. I'm still in shock, but it's definitely one or the other.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

I guess we should have seen this coming. Even after Citigroup upgradeed Lehman to a "buy" late last week, the Fed announced that they want more power and a new role as the mortgage police. Because, obviously, the Fed saw this coming from miles away, and, uh, totally helped squash the mortgage crisis. Didn't Greenspan's policies convince all of these middle class Americans making $70,000 a year to buy half-million dollar homes in the burbs, or have we already relagated our fiscal policies of the past ten years to history and "post nine eleven" mentality? Has everyone really already forgotten about 3.0% 80/20 mortgages, directly a result of Greenspan's economic ideals?

At least we have Barney Frank and the House of Representatives to bail everyone out with a $300B prop, so we can all live comfortably above our means.

Bernanke is set to speak before congress, this afternoon. Stay tuned!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Kingswood
121 W. 10th St New York NY

Rated by: Becca S.

3/5 star rating

02/18/2008

The Kingswood is like that boyfriend you had in college who you knew you should just dump, but somehow kept coming back to, over and over again.

He ignores you ("are the people here bringing us food or what???!!!" my friend cried out after 20 minutes had gone by without even getting our drink orders taken). He makes ridiculous excuses ("your burger IS medium rare, it's just that they treat the meat in a way that makes it brown" our waitress explained to me with an impressively straight face. Um, is that "treatment", by any chance, COOKING? ). He is not even all that interesting (mushroom risotto....eh).

But then he gives you truffle fries. And cute bartenders with Australian accents. And a really beautiful space. And all of a sudden you're giving him 3 stars, when he probably only deserves 2.


Ahahahaha sounds like my kind of place!
I've come up with an idea for the next revolution in internet browsers. Googling "U breathe," which, as I understand, is a technique where one breathes out of the mouth while simultaneously breathing in through the nose, brings up five bazillion matches with "u" used to mean "you," making it impossible to sift through the matches for R'n'B songs about "The way u breathe make me luv u 4ever" and tons of bitches in Jerz who think that their totally deep poetry about "you're breathe on my neck makes me shutter lol." Surprisingly (or not), millions and millions of annoying shitty teenagers who will one day rule the world believe that it is fine and dandy, and efficient even, to truncate a three letter word. I could probably ramble and get worked up for hours on end about what a waste of space everyone under the age of 18 is, but that's not the point today.

The point is, I started thinking about how nice it would be if we could shape our online behavior with an intelligent, self-censoring web browser. What if Firefox had an extension that added a button labeled Flag as retarded? Clicking on it would add the content of the page to a database which would filter Google hits, forum posts, YouTube comments, and even entire Geocities webpages. I honestly think that it would make for a much more enjoyable (though maybe a little delusional) online experience. It could be programmed to learn to avoid grammar-free zones and promote those pages which are most likely to satisfy your needs, sort of like Tivo. It would have to be pretty robust to distinguish the difference between the correct and incorrect uses of their and they're, but, Gentlemen, we have the technology.

Related: I should totally get one of those mosquito-repel things that makes a high pitched noise that only teenagers and mosquitoes and dogs can hear and take it to every all-ages show I go to. Man, that is such a good idea.