Friday, June 20, 2008



Verdict: Tastes like Chick-Fil-A. Nom nom nom nom nom.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

What sort of instrument is the crazy noise in lots of Latin American songs that sounds sort of like a cross between a dog barking and that squeaky noise you can make on glass with a wet finger? I was trying to listen to the new Sergio Mendes record (good, poppy, one or two stand-out songs) but I heard this sound on one song and now all I can hear is this squeaky sound in, like, every song, and it's driving me crazy so I'm going to have to turn it off.

Edit: Now I am def going to have to turn it off because Will.I.Am just said "rockin' this new ish" and I hate that radio-ready candy-pop allstars have just started TBS mid-afternoon Saturday movie-style censoring themselves. Yippie-kay-aye, Mothertrucker.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I'm back on the patch (and, uh, occasionally this) starting last night. The best part about the patch is that you have these wild, intense dreams. Last night I had a dream that I lost my shirt trading corn futures (can you trade commodities on eTrade?) on the advice of the investments guy I work with. It was so lifelike that when I woke up this morning I started to apologize to the Wife. Then, when I realized it was a dream, I got really excited because, you know, what if I have The Shining or something. Turns out I would be a really shitty commodities trader if I was relying on Nicotrol premonitions.

Que sera, sera.

Two side notes: "Que sera, sera" doesn't actually mean anything in any language, and also apparently these patches itch like a bastard because I ripped mine off at some point last night and stuck it on the bedside table and then had a dream that I put another one on my ass. So this morning I frantically searched for the lost ass-patch that did not exist while the Wife looked at me like I was retarded. Cool.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

It was probably well after four when we finally got kicked out of the bar -- Mooney's usually stays open late for us, and I don't mean one extra round late -- though I was having so much fun earlier to took off my watch. We were sitting on the back porch drinking God-only-knows what whiskey (as the night gets older and wallets get empty, which whiskey you're throwing into your belly matters less and less) and having a good time not caring what anyone else thought. A group of yuppies started making fun of my neighborhood and we spent the next hour talking about rock music and how hot Jenny Lewis is (yuppies love Jenny Lewis and secretly love my neighborhood). When we all fell out of the bar and into the streets of Bay Ridge, instead of getting on the road towards our homes we went to the farmer's market and bought cherries and talked about horseracing.

There's a temptation to try to relive the days that we loved so much, especially, for me, during the summer. It's important to recognize that the way these memories are built is not by trying to recreate others. It's precious to hold and keep with you, and when you walk down that one street or smell the summer subway smell for the first time it kinda gets you, but I need to remind myself that there is only today. So I guess that is my goal for the summer. So far I am off to a good start.


Also: God dammit is that fucking sandcastles picture not the funniest effing thing you have ever seen in your whole life? No kidding I think I have looked at it, like, eight times today and I bust up every single time.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

First: Best spam ever:

Subject: what a stupid face you have here ben.carver
Body: "Watch."

Also: Someone on the subway this morning was wearing Lucky. It makes my brain run in five different directions which just makes my hangover worse.

Lastly: I need a Bloody Mary and some sand between my toes, stat.

Monday, June 02, 2008

I found this searching around for one of those eBay crawlers that helps you search better -- specifically for items that are about to end that haven't been bid on yet. This afternoon I am making myself a big sign and taping it to my wall that says "DO NOT EVER CLICK ON LINKS TO YAHOO ANSWERS OR YOU WILL WANT TO SMASH THINGS."

Yahoo Answers: Anyone know of the $1 ebay auction websites?
Dave F asks: "Anyone know of the $1 ebay auction websites where they have lots of items selling on ebay that have less than 1 hour to go and cost less than $1?"

Pattibcacl answers: "no sorry I don,t look on Ebay good luck"